Holding My Breath

Does adoption ever feel like it’s actually happening, until it does? My file has been active again for a few months now and I finally (FINALLY!!), after three years, have a match! For the past few weeks since I’ve known about it, I feel like I’ve been holding my breath… not quite believing that this is actually happening.

I’m going through the motions… gathering information, asking questions, talking to the schools, transforming the guest room… but all the while my head is spinning in a thousand different directions and it hasn’t really “sunk in” yet. I have this fear that the second I finally exhale, someone will tell me this whole thing was just a sick joke and it will feel like a punch in the gut.

Sometimes I manage to break down my walls and allow myself to feel excited, but most days I feel like I’m going to throw up. It sounds a little like pregnancy, no?

Posted By: Sarah