Making the decision to adopt. Sounds like a big deal…right?!

I remember trying to figure out the best way to bring up the idea of adoption to my husband.

We had talked about starting our family, but really hadn’t looked at timing, finances, and just generally where we were at in life.  At least not really seriously.  We both knew that we wanted children, but that was pretty much as far as we had gotten.  So I had been walking around with it (the idea of adopting) in my head for almost a month.  Actually, I had wanted to adopt since I was about 13 years old, but I had only started thinking that it was something I was ready for over the last month.  I had looked into the process but really only at a surface level.  I didn’t want to get too excited at the thought since I wasn’t really sure how my husband would react.  I knew that he loved kids and hoped for a family.  I knew that he would be an amazing father.  I knew that he had one of the biggest hearts I had ever seen, but adoption wasn’t something that we had ever really discussed or knew much about.  We both have people in our families that had been adopted, but that was just part of their story.  Who they are has never been defined by being adopted from an outside perspective, so it was never something that we had really looked at in depth.  Our families are our families, and we love them.

After driving myself crazy with excitement at the idea of building our family through adoption, I had to put it out there.  It ended up being on a holiday to the family cabin.  It’s so quiet there.  So peaceful.  I had spent all this time in my head trying to figure out the right time and how to bring it up…  In my head I was thoughtful, articulate and eloquent in my reasons.  We were outside at the fire pit, and I guess I must have been unusually quiet.   My very perceptive husband asked me what was on my mind, and after all the time I had spent thinking through the idea of adoption and how I wanted to present this to the man I love, all I managed to blurt out was “I think we should adopt.”  And then I waited.  I’m not sure why it felt like such a big statement and why I was so nervous about his response, but I was terrified.  Looking back now, almost 4 years ago, it seems a little surreal.  When I look at all that we have in our lives and all that we are a part of…so much of it started with that moment.  That conversation.  I remember so vividly the feeling of anxiety coursing through me as I waited for my husband’s response.  While I was holding my breath, trying to prepare myself for the barrage of questions and funny looks that I was sure to receive from my husband, he looked over at me, grinned and said “Okay!  I always thought about adopting!”.  Seriously??

If he knew what our world would look like after the ball started rolling, I wonder if it would’ve been so easy…  🙂  And just for the record, the conversations we have had with so many others since then haven’t always gone quite so smoothly, but if we had to choose, we would do all of it again!  But that’s for another post.

Posted by: Cara

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